‘Design matters’ is interpreted in this exploratory paper via a narrative pastiche that concerns recent developments in ubiquitous computing and their implications for emerging techno-material culture. The article has two research aims: 1) to connect discourses on ubicomp with ones on design fiction, and 2) to motivate design research to expand styles of playful, reflective and interpretative modes, and genres of research writing. A first person narrative perspective is located in bio-cultural contexts of design fiction future use, referring to WiFi, RFID and GPS technologies also of today. The narrative is a ‘tongue in cheek’ critique of hidden voices of particants to current and near-future ubiquitous technologies. The paper is written as an abductive design narrative that intends to escape from often ‘paddocked’ research modes of writing about design. On offer is a playful , performative problematising mode of design research writing that is connected to to wider societal concerns, drawing rhetorically on post-structuralist ‘inventio’ in the humanities.